MADE

I usually write about the intersection between music and marketing. I want to get off the beaten path a bit with this article because I know that an indie music career is about more than marketing and money.

It’s about your inner spirit too. It’s about what you’re made of on the inside. It’s about how you deal with the world around you.

Your music is your life and life is messy. I was reminded of all this recently because I spoke with a guy who’s in a struggling indie band. It’s just been one problem after the next for them. They just can’t get a break.

He was talking to me about the hell they just went through with their now ex-manager. Basically, he had a falling out with their manager recently. Thing is, the manager knew the passwords to access their website’s server. He went in and deleted their website. Talk about being vindictive.

So that just made me think about the importance of mentally preparing oneself for dealing with the world when it doesn’t go your way. It’s extra tough these days too because the music business has become a do it yourself minefield.

Making something of yourself requires a mental toughness which demands that you deal with not just the new technical realities of the music business, but the difficulties that other people have always presented. People three thousand years before you were dealing with the same people issues.

It’s hard out there. But if you try to stick to a few solid habits of mind, you can deal with problems more effectively when they do arise. Here’s a few things to think about to overcome the stresses in your music career and life.

THE WORLD IS NOT YOUR OYSTER

Trying to constantly make the world bend to your will is a recipe for stress and frustration. Things usually won’t go your way. The best way to protect yourself from stress is to accept and internalize that fact. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. You’ve heard it before.

Being prepared for the worst always softens the blow. The world usually doesn’t go according to your plans. But don’t let that discourage you. Accept it and meet the world head on. And then move on. Life isn’t supposed to happen in a straight line. Accept that other people will do things differently and think differently than you.

Just because you’re leading a band or record label or anything at all doesn’t mean that everyone else has to or will necessarily fall in line with what you want. Many won’t. And some will sabotage you just to see you burn. You can only control your attitude towards others’ actions. Most of the time, you’re not in control. Deal with it.

President Dwight D. Eisenhower once said that a good delegator is someone who once he’s handed a letter he knows he could have written better, signs it anyway. The world isn’t your oyster.

DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT

One of the secrets to being happy is having integrity. Live a life where what you do matches up closely with what you believe and what you say. If you lie, cheat and misrepresent yourself, eventually you’ll develop a low opinion of yourself. And it will show. People will know. Lack of integrity will always bring you down.

A friend of mine is friends with a music manager in New York. The manager was approached recently by a music guy who wanted him to do business with him. To impress the music manager, this guy claimed that he had an email list with 14 million names. I don’t know who this guy is, but I know for sure that he doesn’t have a list of 14 million because not even Barack Obama has an email list that large.

Not only was this dude too dumb to come up with a credible lie, but he lacked integrity. Lack of integrity will kill your career. Contrary to popular belief, nice guys do finish first.

FOR EVERY NEGATIVE, THERE’S A POSITIVE

Don’t worry too much about things not going your way because usually, there’s a silver lining…if you look hard enough. I’m sure you can think of events in your life that have totally frustrated or even devastated you. But then, several months later, something wonderful happens that would never have been possible had the negative experience not happened to you. It’s universal balance.

That guy I mentioned who’s ex-manager deleted his site, I’m sure there’s a silver lining in that too. It may take months or even years to realize it, but there’s something there. That’s usually how things work. As the author Richard Back put it in his book Illusion, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly.”

Think about universal balance the next time your gig falls through or your star drummer deserts you.

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